Drunken Masters!
by Bondii
Summary: This story is about the characters from FF8, and when they get drunk... *laughs at the thought* It's rated PG-13 for violence and mild sexuality.


It is 5 years after the events of FF8, and things have changed little with all our… 'heroes'. A reunion has been planned at the Winhill tavern. Everyone is coming, and for some reason they decided it would be a GOOD idea to serve alcohol…   
  
Irvine is the first to get here, and he waits for a good 2 hours before they all come. Luckily, they all come within a few minutes of each other.   
  
The group includes, Squall, Rinoa, Selphie, Zell, Rajin, Fujin, Seifer, Laguna, Kiros, Ward, Cid, Edea, and a few others who are standing around, univited.   
  
Everyone is served a round of strong liquor (though the actual name is unknown), and for the next half hour, they all drink a few more. Eventually, all of them are drunk out of their mind. Of course, some odd things are going on. What follows is a person to person event of what they do.   
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******WARNING: These posts are somewhat violent and may be offensive to some, if you do not approve of violence or mild sexuality, do not read these.************   
  
Squall is seen sitting at the bar crying his eyes out, like a little girl.   
  
Squall: ''Mommy? Where are you Mommy?''   
  
Between sobs, Squall stands up and walks over and gets some rope and ties it to the ceiling and makes a noose.   
  
Squall: ''Life is mean Mommy...''   
  
He then proceeds to put the noose around his neck, and stands straight up on a box. He kicks the box away and chokes. In a few seconds, the knot breaks and he falls to the ground.   
  
Squall: ''Mommy...''   
  
Squall passes out on the ground and vomits while sleeping, which effectivly cuts off his air supply and kills himself.   
  
Bartender: ''I knew he was suicidal... but that was just nasty...''   
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Onto Seifer, sitting in the corner of the room, alone moping.   
  
Seifer: ''I'm sorry everyone... I never meant to hurt anyones feelings! I love you all! Your my family!''   
  
He then begins crying, like his rival Squall. With tears running down his face, he stands above the dead Squall with the vomit all around him. Oblivious to Squall's death, Seifer starts a conversation with him.   
  
Seifer: ''How are you doing lately Squall?''   
  
No reply.   
  
Seifer: ''Oh that's nice. I just came to tell you how sorry I am for all the pain I've caused.''   
  
Nothing...   
  
Seifer: ''Thanks for forgiving me. I won't bother any of you guys anymore with stupid stuff, I'll just be a regular guy.''   
  
Still no answers...   
  
Seifer continues with his conversation, yet everyone is so drunk they can't tell him Squall can't answer.   
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The fun was only beginning... well for the guys in the room. Quistis, now following her inhibitions, was running around the room without her top on.   
  
Quistis: ''I've ALWAYS wanted to do this!''   
  
She ran up to all the guys and they all started drooling when she came by. The only one who didn't seem turned on was Kiros, who payed no attention... for some odd reason.   
  
Quistis kept running around the room and soon she had... no clothes on. At this time she decided to run out the door into a field and pass out.   
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After finishing her 5th strong liquor (we all know SHE wouldn't remember anything important, such as names), Rinoa is now officially crazy.   
  
Rinoa: ''WEEEEEEEEEE! I'm having so much fun!!!!''   
  
She grabs the fan on the ceiling, and starts spinning around the room.   
  
Rinoa: ''Woah.. woah.. woah.. woah.. I'm.. diz.. zy..''   
  
Dizzy beyond belief, she lets go and slams into a wall, and falls to the ground.   
  
Rinoa: ''Now I know what Selphie always feels like...''   
  
She falls asleep and drool drips from her mouth.   
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Irvine, being the first there, was the most drunk. He was swinging his gun in the air like he was Squall doing a victory dance.   
  
Irvine: ''YYEEEEEEEEEEE HAW! I feel a little tipsy I reckon'!''   
  
Bartender: ''So he really IS a cowboy and isn't dressing up to get the girls...''   
  
Irvine then ran out the door, past the passed out naked Quistis and onto a chocobo that was in the fields. He had a beverage in one hand, his gun in the other, and his feet around the chocobo.   
  
Irvine: ''Ride 'em cowboy!''   
  
The chocobo, now freaked out, tossed the drunk Irvine onto the ground. When Irvine landed, he snapped his neck and lied there, paralyzed.   
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Edea: ''The mice men... they're after me... I have to hide...''   
  
Selphie: ''BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRR! YOU NEED A HAIRCUT!!!!!!''   
  
Selphie pulls out a pair of scissors from her pocket, for some reason she has them.   
  
Edea: ''Good idea... they won't know what I look like then...''   
  
Selphie starts snipping at Edea's hair, and the long locks fall to the ground. After a while, all of Edea's hair, except a few bits and pieces are all over the floor.   
  
Edea: ''Good job.... Selphie! Now they won't know where to find me....''   
  
Edea then picks up the locks of hair and tapes them onto her face like a beard.   
  
Selphie: ''WHERE DID YOU GO MISTRESS? I CAN'T FIND YOU!''   
  
Edea: ''I'll be safe now...''   
  
She then puts a tea cup up to her face and hides behind it.   
  
Then out of nowhere, Selphie starts doing a jig.   
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Zell: ''Now where is ChrisOB? I'm bored!''   
  
Appearing out of thin air, just to continue the story, ChrisOB walks up to Zell.   
  
ChrisOB: ''Right here honey!''   
  
They both look at the bartender who is giving them odd looks.   
  
Zell: ''We better go into another room to...um.... have our fun....''   
  
ChrisOB: ''Yeh I think so...''   
  
Just then, Kiros walks up to them.   
  
Kiros: ''Can I come too? I want to have some FUN too...''   
  
Zell: ''You do know what we're talking about don't you?''   
  
Kiros: ''Sure, and I always wanted to do it!''   
  
The three run off into a side room, in a few moments loud screams and yelling is heard. Soon it dies down, and they walk out. The bartender vomits all over the ground, and when he recovers, lights the room on fire to sanatize the land.  
  
Bartender: "Eww..."  
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(I haven't finished the rest of the cast, it'll be up soon. Review... please?)  
  



End file.
